Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
