If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
