well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Threesome in a minivan. New low
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize