Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's blow job season.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
