There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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