I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
