It's Friday. Sex?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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