i just google imaged poop.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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