ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
