she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
