I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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