I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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