i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The uberlube is also flammable
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
