She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize