Cold hands, warm shart.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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