ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
