We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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