Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
