I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
