i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
