I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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