I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
