lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
