put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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