Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
