ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
