I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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