..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
