You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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