For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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