Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize