Best friends brother. Beat that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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