I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
