i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she looked like the before picture.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
40s are totally the cure
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
