Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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