tell your sister to shave her snatch
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
