he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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