2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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