What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
