I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
