google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
