She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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