He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
