glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
