I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
