mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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