she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
