I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
cat food counts as protein by the way
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
