Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
