My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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