your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
