3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
