Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
