He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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